


Upheaval

by dk323



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Hope, M/M, Major Illness, Multiverse, Pre-Slash, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 06:13:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11845614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dk323/pseuds/dk323
Summary: Cisco continues to be angry at Barry – no matter how unintentionally his time travel trip led to the death of Cisco's brother. Barry is at a loss about what to do. Especially after an unexpected move from Cisco leaves Barry feeling even worse.Then he sees Hartley again, and Barry finds a chance to redeem himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story for the WIP Big Bang challenge. This is my first fic for The Flash fandom. I've written for Merlin (BBC's Merlin) and Forever fandoms among others, but those are the most recent.
> 
>  
> 
> *****This story takes place after 3x07 but before the crossover in 3x08. Although, due to certain events in the story, this story diverges from Season 3 after 3x07.**
> 
>  
> 
> I hope that you enjoy "Upheaval." :-) **Thank You** to the organizers of the WIP Big Bang. I'm so glad this challenge exists - this is my second year participating in this challenge, and it was an enjoyable experience overall. Though I didn't have an artist (time ran away from me) this go around, just being a part of the WIP Big Bang gave me the motivation I needed to get this story done. :D

Earth 1  
November 2016

“Did you find an apartment?” Caitlin asked him, looking up when Barry entered the Cortex.

Barry shrugged, rubbing the back of his head. “Yeah, it’s a place to live. I thought of just moving back in with Joe, but he wanted me to leave. I didn’t want to give up the search for an apartment even if that would’ve been easier.”

“It’s a start. At least you have something now. And with you and Iris, having your own place should help,” Caitlin said, reminding him.

“Yeah…” Barry said, feeling distracted. 

At the front of his mind was the strained friendship he had with Cisco. It was bothering him. The most pressing reason he hunted down an apartment fast was the awkwardness between him and Cisco. Barry knew he just couldn’t stay there any longer when Cisco was barely speaking to him.

Though Cisco never addressed it out loud, Barry could tell from his body language that he wanted him to leave.

Barry’s gaze wandered, not in the mood to talk further as he thought about the rift between him and Cisco. He focused on the mannequin where his suit rested.

Or, where his Flash suit should have been.

Caitlin frowned. She looked anywhere but at Barry.

“Caitlin, where is my suit?”

“I’m sorry. Cisco told me that--”

Barry cut in, anxious to find out what happened to his suit. “Told you what? Caitlin? Does he have it?”

“Cisco came here late last night, and maybe he was a little drunk, but he took the suit and he… I’m sorry, Barry, it’s—“

“He destroyed it.” Barry said, finishing what he knew she was going to say.

Caitlin nodded sadly. “And I’m not sure Cisco’s interested in making another one.”

“I can’t believe he would do that. I get it – he’s mad at me, but he still made the suit. It’s his creation. I just wear it. I can’t believe Cisco is so upset with me he’d destroy something he worked hard on.”

Caitlin sighed. “I don’t know, Barry. Maybe just the fact that you used it was enough for Cisco. Despite being his work, he was still willing to get rid of the suit. As I said, he was under the influence.”

“Did he say he regretted it?”

“Cisco only called me, and no, he didn’t mention regretting what he did. If he had come in here, I could have tried to get more out of him. But especially after this, I think he’ll be keeping his distance from Star Labs.”

Barry gave her a nod. “Right. I know I screwed up but I can’t see Cisco not making another suit. Even if it takes some time to come around. Other people’s lives are at risk if I can’t do my job as the Flash.”

Caitlin smiled at him in encouragement. “You have a point. I think you should talk to Cisco. Hopefully you can get through to him… like you did with me,” she said quietly.

“Thanks, Caitlin.”

Barry went to embrace her, already plotting out in his head what he would say to Cisco.

~ * ~

To Barry’s complete surprise, he saw Cisco was at home. Even if he knew Barry would return to retrieve the rest of his stuff.

But Barry was glad he didn’t have go searching for him. He wanted badly to get this talk started, to hopefully make positive progress on repairing the damage that was his friendship with Cisco.

“Hey, Cisco.”

Cisco shrugged, not looking at him as he stared at the TV which was on low volume.

“Caitlin told me about the suit,” Barry began tentatively.

Cisco looked up at him, tone still very neutral. “I didn’t like it. The suit needed an upgrade. Give me some time to make the changes.”

“Oh okay,” Barry said, taken off guard by Cisco’s answer. 

He had thought he’d have to take the time to convince him, to emphasize the importance of the suit for the sake of fighting crime in Central City. He was relieved that Cisco seemed to recognize that. Maybe his destruction of the suit was a simple case of a drunken accident that now Cisco was brushing off as nothing more than a need for an upgrade. As if his actions weren’t driven by being upset with Barry. And Barry didn’t doubt that this had been the driving force – no matter if Cisco tried to deny it.

“Listen, Cisco, I get you’re angry at me for causing Dante’s death – even if it was unintentional. And if I had known the consequences of my time travel beforehand, that it would lead you to losing your brother, I would have never… Please, believe me, Cisco. I wouldn’t have done it.”

“But you weren’t thinking when you went back in time to save your mother. You weren’t in a great space, you said so yourself. It was an impulsive move. You weren’t thinking of anyone else then. Your promises now mean little.”

“Cisco…”

“Tell me. What were the real reasons why you tried to restore the timeline? It was more than just an evil speedster causing problems, wasn’t it? You didn’t tell us everything.”

Cisco’s last statement sounded more like a fact than a guess. And Barry couldn’t deny how right Cisco was.

“I don’t see what you mean.”

Cisco gave him a hard look. “I could Vibe you, you know. To check.”

“All right, all right.”

Barry relented. He decided that keeping this secret wasn’t going to do him any good.

Cisco looked at him expectantly. “Well?”

“Wally was dying. No one could save him. I couldn’t stay there, knowing Joe would lose his son. I couldn’t remain in that timeline when I had the ability to reset the timeline. To make things how they were, where Wally wasn’t about to die.”

Cisco nodded, but he didn’t look convinced, frowning at Barry. “Well, for Wally’s sake, it’s good that you fixed that. But there’s still something else? I need to know.”

“Fine. I was losing my memory of this timeline – my mom dying, being adopted by Joe, Iris, becoming the Flash, you and Caitlin… it was scaring me, Cisco. The more I used my powers, the faster my memory went. At a critical time, I forgot how to use my powers. For some terrifying moments, I was powerless against the Rival. Fortunately Iris was there to motivate me to fight and to remember no matter how difficult it was.”

Cisco’s expression darkened. “So when your memory was being affected, you had to leave. That was it.”

“Yes, I admit that. But Wally’s condition was the tipping point. I didn’t want to forget about you, about our friendship, of this life that led to me being the Flash. The good and the bad. Maybe that looks selfish, but trust me, Cisco, as it was happening, I was afraid. Even more than when I’d lost my powers in the past. At least then, I had you and Caitlin…Team Flash…” 

Barry had been close to including Wells, the one who was really Eobard Thawne. Back before they knew his true identity, Barry had placed his faith in him, had trusted him. The fake Wells had been a part of his support system, he grudgingly had to admit.

But now, the fake Wells only left a bitter taste in his mouth. And Barry just couldn’t speak about him out loud. Especially after how Eobard had annoyed him back in Flashpoint. He hated the man.

“I knew I would be okay with you guys supporting me, helping me. But in Flashpoint, everything was different. I may have had my parents, but other than that, I was alone in a way. My relationships with all of you weren’t the same. They weren’t as close. And especially now, since I’ve returned, I’ve realized how important those all are.”

Cisco stood up. “I should go.”

“That’s it?” Barry asked, surprised.

“You just have to accept that I won’t get over losing my brother so fast. I need more time. And no more promises you’ll have trouble keeping,” Cisco told him.

“I don’t like how things are between us, Cisco. I understand you want time. Believe me,” Barry said, his tone desperate. “If I knew resetting the timeline wouldn’t have negative consequences, I would save Dante in a heartbeat. But I can’t live with the certainty I’ll mess with other people’s lives even if they’re strangers. The burden will still be there. I’m already dealing with the burden, and that hurts more than I describe. Adding more to it would just make me feel even worse.”

Cisco sighed. He raised his hand and put it on Barry’s shoulder. 

Peering carefully at him, Cisco said, “Well then you know how I feel. Powerless to fix something. It sucks. But I have to make my peace with that… maybe one day, I will.”

Barry watched Cisco leave. He only felt a little better than before he came to the apartment.

~ * ~

Barry wished that he hadn’t been forced to resign from his job. He could use his CSI work to distract him. The work would force him to focus his attention on something other than his broken friendship with Cisco. But even if he still had his job, it was a Saturday and he wouldn’t be working today either way. 

And now he didn’t have his Flash suit to patrol the city without revealing his identity. The last thing he needed was someone recognizing him as Barry Allen if he wasn’t quick enough in his exit.

He considered calling Iris, but then he decided against it. He needed to sort out this mess on his own. He didn’t want to get Iris involved.

Settling on the park, Barry headed over there.

He was surprised to see Hartley sitting on the bench. Barry swore that Hartley appeared thinner than the last time he saw him eight months ago. 

He was also wearing a winter coat when it was a considerably warm day—almost 70 degrees-- for November.

“Hartley?” Barry said.

Barry sat down on the opposite side of the bench, but Hartley didn’t look at him. Actually, Barry was positive that Hartley was making a point of not acknowledging his presence.

Barry frowned. “I guess I did something to make you upset with me? I’m sorry that I don’t remember.”

Hartley shrugged. “Cisco and Caitlin told me about Flashpoint. You’re not going to stop, are you? With traveling in time?”

“I’m not going to do that anymore. I know it’ll make things worse.”

“That’s how you feel now,” Hartley countered, not seeming to believe Barry’s promise not to time travel.

“Didn’t my traveling back in time cause you to help the team instead of fighting us? Not to continue being bent on revenge? That still happened in this timeline, right?”

Hartley gave a long sigh. “Yes, you knew about the e-bombs when you shouldn’t have,” he said, his voice sounding tired. “But don’t think that act makes it all better. I should go.”

He stood up to leave. That was when Barry noticed that Hartley’s right hand was made of metal. How did he lose his hand? This had to be unintentional result of Barry changing the timeline. Like Cisco’s brother dying, the rift between Joe and Iris, and Barry sharing his lab at CCPD with the frustrating Julian Albert among the other known and unknown effects.

“Hartley, wait.”

Barry was grateful when Hartley did turn around, however reluctantly.

Barry stood up, approaching him.

Hartley took a step back. “Just don’t.”

“Your hand, what happened to it?” He asked. 

Hartley gave Barry a hard look. “A gift from Zoom. He soon regretted it though. I made him pay.”

Barry was taken aback by the intensity of Hartley’s words. Although, he could only imagine the pain and trauma of having to lose a hand. He couldn’t see Zoom being merciful when amputating a hand especially from someone he considered an enemy.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could have been there to stop him.”

“There was nothing you could have done. He was faster than you after all.” Hartley said, his voice cold.

Before Barry could answer, Hartley abruptly turned his back on him.

Barry called after him, but Hartley kept walking away. While he knew he could use his speed to force Hartley to stop, to continue this talk; Barry resisted the urge. 

Clearly, Hartley was not interested in talking to him. And maybe Barry would get more answers from Caitlin and Cisco about Hartley. His thin appearance concerned Barry – it didn’t look like some weight loss attempt. Barry believed that it was weight loss stemming from an illness. That, along with the dressing for colder weather than it currently was, strengthened Barry’s theory. Something he wished he could dismiss.

He wasn’t sure if he could handle any more negative effects of his time travel. 

Maybe Hartley was right. While Barry promised to the team at Star Labs that he wouldn’t travel back in time again, and now to Hartley… his feelings on doing so could change in the future. Barry couldn’t foresee what would happen, what the breaking point would be for him to reconsider time travel – to fix some things at the expense of breaking other things...people—especially those he loved and cared about.

Barry remembered the recent struggle Caitlin went through – the harsh words she imparted to him about being broken. And it was because he had created Flashpoint, and then fixed the timeline when that Flashpoint timeline went wrong.

Was Hartley the latest in the line of unintended victims of Barry’s actions?

Barry swore to himself. 

He sped back to Star Labs. He needed answers.

~ * ~

Earth 8  
8 Months Ago:

“Barry, don’t do this. Don’t go,” Caitlin urged him. 

Barry’s eyes shifted from their usual hazel to black even to the whites of his eyes. Then they changed back to normal. 

Caitlin exchanged a look of concern with Cisco. They both knew the hard truth. There was no way out of this, no light at the end of the tunnel. 

Caitlin had nothing to offer, nothing that would help, and she could see that Cisco was just as miserable as she felt.

“We’ll figure something out, man. Seriously.” Cisco said.

Barry shook his head, clutching it as if he were experiencing a painful headache.

“Don’t lie to me,” Barry said slowly, every word seeming to be an exercise of torture.

Hesitantly, Cisco walked toward him as if he were approaching a bomb about to go off. He reached out his hand.

“Don’t touch me,” Barry shot out. 

He sped out of Cisco’s reach to the other side of the Cortex.

“Barry…” Caitlin said, feeling the tears coming down her face.

Barry looked at each of them in turn. His expression was one of determination, but there were hints of sadness, of pleading for his friends to find a solution. To stop him with a promise of a cure. “This is the only way. While my mind is…clear…” He paused, swallowing. “I’ll miss you guys.” His voice broke.

And then he was gone, speeding out before either Caitlin or Cisco could say anything.

“Do you think he saw Iris and Joe?” Cisco asked.

He peered over at Caitlin who had fallen silent. She was staring unseeingly at one of the monitors.

Cisco sighed, walking over to her. “Barry needs back up. Hartley did offer to help. And he was pretty annoyed when we didn’t tell him about Barry…”

Caitlin rubbed at her face. She nodded. “Call him. Call Hartley.”

~ * ~

Earth 1  
November 2016

“Caitlin, I need to talk to you,” Barry said as he entered the Cortex.

He narrowed his eyes when he noticed Caitlin quickly end the call on her cellphone.

“Who were you on the phone with? Was it Hartley? I just saw him in the park.”

“Just Cisco. He was asking if I wanted to go out to eat tonight.”

Caitlin tried to look at him innocently, but Barry wasn’t buying it.

“Hartley is sick, isn’t he? He wasn’t looking well.”

“Barry, this isn’t my place. If Hartley is ready to share this with you, then he will.”

Barry frowned. “So he is sick,” he concluded from Caitlin’s vague answer. “What happened?”

“You have to ask Hartley,” Caitlin said, not budging.

“Hartley did say he made Zoom pay for taking his hand. That never took place in the timeline I remember. What did Hartley do?”

Caitlin relented, nodding at him. “I suppose I can tell you that.”

She waved her hand indicating they move to one of the smaller workrooms. Actually, it was the same room where Barry had talked with Caitlin about her powers after her difficult confession to the team.

After they sat down across from one another, Barry spoke first, “I remember that you were kidnapped by Zoom. It was after he took my speed in exchange for Wally.”

Caitlin sighed. “Yes… he did manage to abduct me a few hours after you lost your speed to him.”

Barry stared at her, then he shook his head. “No, Zoom took you only moments after I gave him my speed. He attacked me and you pleaded with him to stop. He did, but he grabbed you and the both of you were gone. Fortunately he let you go in the end, but you were traumatized by the experience.”

“All of that is true expect for the timing of when Zoom took me. Hartley wasn’t there in your mind, was he? When your speed was removed?”

“No.”

Barry was already feeling bad for not having this memory. Hartley never had an encounter with Zoom from what he recalled. But here, he had at least two – when Zoom took his hand and when he was present at the time of Zoom taking all his speed.

“Well, Hartley and I were working together on this serum to cause problems for Zoom,” she began. “You see, Hartley came up with the idea… with the painful screaming in his ears without his hearing aids, he considered doing something similar to Zoom. When we found out that Zoom wanted your speed for Wally’s life, Hartley insisted this was the perfect opportunity. We could make sure that Zoom would feel excruciating pain every time he used his speed. We put the serum into the vial your speed would be transferred into.” 

Caitlin smiled to herself as she recalled the memory.

Barry just felt worse. He wished he could have lived through this, to see Zoom thwarted in such a way.

“But it didn’t work as well as you wanted it to. He still killed my dad,” Barry pointed out. 

He remembered soon after he had returned, Joe bringing up his dad’s death as a reason for his odd behavior. Then it had been due to not knowing Joe and Iris were not on speaking terms.

Caitlin’s face fell. She sighed. “Unfortunately, no. Zoom still felt terrible pain when he used his speed. And it made him angrier as you can imagine. But in the race you two had, it didn’t take long at all for you to beat him. You still created a time remnant, but we all could see that the toll of the pain was wearing Zoom down. We were all confident you would succeed and that Zoom was done for. So the serum did help in some ways.”

“Did Zoom take you to try to get an antidote?”

“Yes, that was a big reason,” Caitlin said. 

She looked a bit haunted as she no doubt remembered the time she was held hostage. “But at least for him, there was no cure. We tried the serum on you first, with your consent of course. The antidote was specific to you. It wouldn’t have worked on another speedster.”

“But you still could have done the antidote that worked for Zoom.” Barry couldn’t resist pointing out.

“A key ingredient needed, but we used all of it on your antidote. There was no way to get or make more of it. That was all Hartley’s doing. I couldn’t have helped Zoom even if I wanted to. He gave up holding me captive and released me.”

Barry nodded. “What about Zoom taking you later than I remember? I’m guessing Hartley helped.”

“Hartley was there to ensure that the serum was put in with the speed Zoom injected into himself. But…well, after I tried to plead with Zoom to leave you alone…”

Past—

Relief swept through Caitlin when he did stop attacking Barry. But she didn’t realize that she was in danger until it was almost too late.

She felt Zoom speed toward her and she swore he almost grabbed her arm but then he was lying on the ground screaming in agony.

Hartley stood in front of Caitlin, blocking her from Zoom. His gauntlets were out and emitting soundwaves to a frequency close enough to cause Zoom great pain. They hadn’t found out what Zoom’s exact frequency was in order to kill him – something that annoyed Hartley immensely, but he did get as close as he was able. 

“Did some work on my gauntlets especially for an occasion like this. Don’t think you can outrun me, you bastard.”

He knelt down in front of Zoom, grabbing his face which was red from the shockwaves of pain coursing throughout his body. “If you thought taking my hand would destroy me, it didn’t. You don’t mess with the Pied Piper.”

Zoom grunted at him. With a surge of energy, he managed to overcome the pain and escaped through a breach.

“I wish I could have killed him,” Hartley muttered out loud more to himself.

“Hartley, will it work? The serum?” Barry spoke up, still trying to catch his breath.

Hartley just looked at him, his face like a mask revealing nothing. “It will work.”

“In about half an hour, he’ll regret ever using his speed,” said Cisco.

Caitlin nodded. “That’s the hope.”

Caitlin finished recounting her memory of Zoom of being hurt by Hartley. She looked at Barry afterwards as if trying to gauge how he felt before he said a word.

Barry stood up, almost knocking over the chair in the process. “I have to see Hartley now. I have to talk to him. And if there’s any way I can get those memories back…”

Caitlin gave him a pitying look. “Listen, Barry… you can’t just demand Hartley tell you. And there’s no way to get the memories back. I would be more concerned about causing damage to your brain. Giving you memories of events that you never personally experienced in the first place…” Caitlin trailed off. She spoke quietly then, almost as if to calm Barry, “I’m sorry, all right? You have to accept that I and everyone else, Hartley, Cisco, Iris, Joe, Wally… that we remember certain events differently than you do. While there are events that happened very similarly, there are others that didn’t.”

Barry swept his hand over his face as he sat back down. “I just want to help. I messed things up with Cisco… but if there’s anything I can do for Hartley, I want to do it.”

Caitlin bit her lip. “Perhaps you can speak to Iris? She knows what’s wrong with Hartley. Hartley made sure I didn’t break the doctor-patient confidentiality agreement. But Iris can tell you… Hartley won’t like it, but if you insist.”

“I want to know whatever it takes,” Barry cut in before Caitlin could continue on. “Are you treating him then as his physician?”

Caitlin shook his head. “No, I’m more of a consulting doctor. Hartley thought it wouldn’t hurt to have more than one physician providing an opinion on his condition. And of course, it helped that we’re friends. I suspect he trusts my judgment more.”

“Yet he didn’t want to have you be his primary physician?”

Caitlin shrugged. “I think… he didn’t want to be here at Star Labs getting treated. He didn’t want to be in the way. So he goes to Central City Memorial Hospital instead.”

Barry didn’t miss the shifty look Caitlin had, not quite looking Barry in the eye.

He wondered if he himself was the reason why Hartley chose to have his treatment done elsewhere. If he’d seen Hartley in Star Labs, in the Med Bay, on a regular basis then he would have questioned Hartley’s situation much sooner. 

But now, Hartley apparently wanted Barry to stay in the dark. First Cisco, now Hartley. Honestly, Barry didn’t feel he had enough good memories with Hartley to justify feeling bad for the fracture between him and the other man.

Yet that made him feel even worse. The not knowing what sort of friendship he and Hartley had. What memories had they shared without the team? Memories that only Hartley carried now, and most likely wasn’t interested in sharing them with Barry at this point in time.

First step: seeing Iris and asking her about Hartley. Barry would deal with the consequences if he saw Hartley again and he told him that he knew about his condition.

“I’ll go see Iris,” Barry said out loud.

Caitlin nodded. “All right. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, see you later.”

With that, he sped out of Star Labs.

~ * ~


	2. Chapter 2

Earth 8  
8 Months Ago:

Caitlin and Cisco arrived at the scene, the fight having taken place in a warehouse. They rushed quickly inside the building as it was still raining outside.

They saw Hartley and Barry lying on the ground. The meta that Barry had gone to fight was on the ground too, presumably out cold or maybe even dead. Hartley’s gauntlets were a few feet away from Barry and looked to have been thrown and left discarded.

Cisco went to check on the meta’s status. 

He told Caitlin, “He’s dead.”

Caitlin was torn about who to check on first – Barry or Hartley? Her hands trembled a little at having to confirm that one or both of them were dead.

Cisco spoke up, seeming to sense her indecision. “Go to Barry.”

Caitlin nodded, though she feared what she might discover. She checked his pulse finding none, and she saw no signs that he was breathing.

She tried to stop the tears from coming. She just couldn’t believe this was happening. She and Cisco had feared it would come to this. It just went from bad to worse ever since Barry’s fateful run-in with that awful meta.

Caitlin couldn’t say the words out loud. Saying them was too painful. 

She went over to Cisco who was assessing Hartley. “Hartley’s still breathing. But he’s not waking up. I shook him and slapped him…not too hard, but still, it should have been enough. Hopefully he’ll--” Cisco stopped when he saw Caitlin’s devastated face.

“Barry…” She only said.

She fell to the ground and he embraced her. “You heard what Hartley said over the coms, Barry took care of that meta. The meta who had killed people. Barry had gone out being a hero. For a short time, he was able to overcome what had possessed him.”

“Yes, you’re right,” Caitlin said with a shaky breath, still trying to keep the tears from falling.

She looked over Hartley, going into doctor-mode, and concluded that he should be all right. His pulse was a little fast, but he was breathing normally for someone asleep. 

Then he started seizing and Cisco jumped back in surprise. 

“Caitlin!” Cisco exclaimed, looking to her urgently. 

“I have an anti-epileptic, but it would be enough to kill him.”

She had packed meds with Barry in mind, first and foremost. She hadn’t expected Hartley to have a seizure. Injuries like bruises or cuts, yes, or being out cold, but not a seizure.

Then they both saw it. Green lightning moving up and down Hartley’s hands. He was still seizing, limbs moving involuntarily. He needed the medication immediately.

Cisco stared at Caitlin wide-eyed. “Just do it!” He urged, waking her up from the shock at seeing the lightning.

Caitlin, still uncertain, went for it anyway. She injected the med into Hartley’s arm.

“I’m sorry, Hartley. I’m so sorry,” she said as she did the injection.

She prayed that the lightning wasn’t some illusion she and Cisco had seen.

The anti-epileptic entered his system and Caitlin thought she would collapse in relief when the seizure stopped. 

And Hartley was still alive.

Caitlin rechecked Hartley’s vitals. She decided she’d feel much better if they could get him back to the Med Bay at Star Labs. 

“What are we going to tell the Wests?” Caitlin asked, her tone somber and quiet as she looked over at Barry.

“I’ll handle that,” Cisco told her. “You need to make sure Hartley is stabilized. We aren’t losing the both of them today. Now let’s get them in the van.”

~ * ~

Earth 1  
November 2016

He found Iris at Joe’s. 

“Hey Iris,” Barry greeted her. 

She was sitting on the couch concentrating on a document on her laptop. Barry’s voice made her jump slightly in surprise. 

Iris raised her head from her focused typing on the laptop, probably trying to meet an article deadline for work.

“Oh, hi Barry.”

I’m sorry to scare you. I didn’t mean to… I hope I’m not interrupting.”

Iris shook her head. “No, no. What is it?”

“I need you to tell me what’s going on with Hartley. I saw him at the park not long ago. He didn’t look well, Iris. Caitlin couldn’t tell me because of the confidentiality agreement. But I was hoping you can let me in…”

Iris frowned at him, closing her laptop before she gave Barry her full attention. “Barry, it was your choice to create that Flashpoint timeline and then change the timeline again. If you don’t know what Hartley is going through, then you aren’t meant to know,” Iris said, sounding a little harsh.

It certainly wasn’t a response Barry was expecting from Iris of all people.

“Iris, I know what I did was wrong with Flashpoint. It was a sudden, impulsive decision… but I want to make up for that. With Cisco, I guess all I can do is give him time and space and hopefully we can work things out. But Hartley… I barely know him and it’s my fault. All the time travel I did has caused me to skip over all these events that Hartley lived through, that all of you lived through… and now…”

Iris studied him, shaking her head. She sighed and when she spoke, her voice was one of weariness. “You want to be friends with Hartley, create new memories with him – to make up for the time you don’t remember spending with him? Because you overdid the time jumping?”

Barry nodded. “I just want to help him, Iris. For that, I need to know what’s wrong. I heard Hartley’s receiving treatments at the hospital.”

Iris looked uncertain about talking about the subject. “I guess asking Cisco is not an option.”

Barry gave her an incredulous look. “We’re not on the best terms at the moment. I doubt Cisco would be interested in delving into Hartley’s medical issues with me right now.”

“Right, yeah. I only… look, Barry. I consider Hartley a friend… we’ve had our share of talks. I believe there’s a good reason why he doesn’t want you to know about his medical condition. Even before Flashpoint, you two haven’t been on the best of terms.”

“What happened between Hartley and me before Flashpoint?”

Iris looked up to the ceiling as if she was praying for the strength to get through this. Barry only felt a little bad for having her explain this difficult matter to him when she probably wanted to make a hasty exit.

She looked him right in the eye. “I honestly don’t know, Barry. Hartley definitely knows… and I’m pretty sure Caitlin is aware as Hartley likes to confide in her. It was when you lost your speed to Zoom. It always bothered you that you couldn’t get drunk when you had your speed. So you took advantage then. Especially with all you were dealing with, having a drink or two was needed. I don’t blame you. I get it.”

“I got drunk… and what, had an argument with Hartley?”

Iris shrugged. “Not sure. I guess so… you could barely remember what happened beyond deciding to go see Hartley. And Hartley was very tight-lipped about what went on. Meaning he only told me that you saw him while you were drunk. Then Hartley pretended I wasn’t there when I asked follow-up questions. He can be a bit of a stubborn—anyway… I can understand Cisco’s dislike of him. But everyone has their flaws.”

“Fine. Maybe I can get Caitlin to tell me. But what about his medical condition?”

“Are you planning to talk to Hartley about it?”

“I’ll just tell him that I snuck into the hospital using my speed…peeked into his medical files. So he’ll hate me more, but you won’t be blamed,” Barry assured her.

Iris rolled her eyes. “Great plan.” She commented dryly. “All right! I’ll tell you.” Iris said, relenting to Barry’s relief.

“Last month, Cisco asked me to come to a meeting that included Hartley, Caitlin and Cisco.”

Past:

“What is it?” Iris asked, growing concerned at the somber looks of the others.

She also noticed that Hartley looked run down, to put it lightly. He had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t been sleeping enough, and his face looked thinner than usual. His hand shook a little when he took off his glasses, rubbing at his eyes before replacing them. Iris frowned at the sight. 

She felt that what she saw in him was a cause for concern. True, she didn’t see Hartley a lot as he mainly just worked with Caitlin and Cisco on different projects; but she never saw him like this. He always looked so put together and his appearance now simply didn’t match with what Iris expected of Hartley Rathaway.

Caitlin glanced briefly at Hartley, uncertain, before she cleared her throat and she spoke, “Since you are closest to Barry, we wanted you to understand – what we strongly believe – is a direct consequence of Flashpoint.”

“Or more like, Barry returning from the Flashpoint after “fixing” the timeline,” Cisco cut in. “When you talk to him, you need to know what the cost was. Maybe… some things can be explained as accidental, unintentional outcomes of Barry changing the timeline back,” Cisco said slowly, almost like it was painful to admit that considering his brother’s death. “But that doesn’t make them any less hurtful or damaging.”

“Listen, Cisco,” Iris began, wanting to say the right words. 

She knew what it felt like to lose a loved one. When she lost her mother, she mourned the relationship they could have had if her mother had been a part of her life. And those awful nine months where she was so afraid she’d lose Barry forever. She had wished and prayed that he would wake up from his coma and still be the Barry she knew. 

Cisco put up his hand. “Don’t. You don’t need to say anything. I get it. You’re on Barry’s side no matter what we say. But when you speak to him, especially about the consequences of his mistakes… you deserve to know about one specific outcome of Barry’s attempt to repair the timeline.”

“You recognize that Barry never meant for the bad things to happen, don’t you?” Iris said, wanting to get her point across. “I believe Barry when he says that he never would’ve changed the past if he’d known his actions would negatively impact those he cared for.”

Hartley rolled his eyes. “Those he cares for. I guess I wouldn’t fit into that. Barry has done a brilliant job changing my past and then skipping over most of the interactions we had. I’m little better than a stranger to him.”

Cisco was unhelpful when he added, “No, you’re still more of a villain to him. You being an ally to Team Flash is probably like the fake Wells helping out the Team after revealing he’s the Reverse Flash. We all happily allow him to stay.”

Hartley glared at him. “I would punch you in the face for that comment.”

“Try me,” Cisco challenged him.

As Iris watched, Caitlin quickly stepped in between them before Hartley could make good on his threat. Hartley looked to be fuming silently. Iris knew that Eobard Thawne aka the fake Wells, was a sore subject for Hartley. To be compared to the former mentor who had so badly betrayed him was infuriating.

Iris knew Cisco was aware of that and had purposefully intended to get a rise out of Hartley.

“Stop it, the both of you!” Caitlin exclaimed, one hand on each of them, keeping them away from one another. “We didn’t make this meeting to watch you two fight it out.”

Hartley said something in Spanish, and it must have been something insulting as Cisco gave him an annoyed look.

Eventually, they sat back down and Caitlin took over as Cisco looked more intent on shooting peeved looks in Hartley’s direction. “This is about Hartley. Would you like to explain, Hartley?”

Iris looked over at Hartley. He sighed. “The same night Barry returned after resetting the timeline – which I only later learned when talking to Cisco and Caitlin – I had the worst headache of my life. My hearing aids stopped working and besides the headache, I heard a terrible piercing scream. I was surprised that my ears didn’t start bleeding. I didn’t know what to do. How to stop it. It was only half an hour or so, but it felt like hours, and I wanted the pain and the excruciating sound to end. When it did, I was worried it would come back…”

“You went to see Caitlin to get you checked out?”

Hartley nodded. “She performed the necessary tests, and well, I have a malignant tumor.”

Iris put her hand to her mouth in shock. “Oh Hartley, that’s awful. Where is the tumor?”

Hartley pointed to his brain. “It’s inoperable. Best I can do is chemo, radiation. But I don’t think that’ll be enough. I’m living on borrowed time now.”

Iris looked to Caitlin. “There has to be something. You can’t give up so easily.”

Hartley interrupted, his voice flat. “There’s nothing. Sometimes giving up is the only thing to do. But the point is, we believe that Barry’s return set something off inside me… the condition I have in my ears from the particle accelerator explosion was affected. I can be sensitive to certain sounds and it appears…”

“Barry coming back gave off a sound that badly affected you,” Iris concluded, sad at the thought.

Hartley nodded, and then he said, smiling weakly, “On the bright side, Barry won’t care. He barely knows me.”

“That’s not a good thing,” Iris was quick to say. “I’m so sorry, Hartley.”

She stood up and went over to hug him. 

“…and that’s what I found out,” Iris finished and Barry swore he saw some tears welling up at her eyes. “Hartley still suffers from terrible recurring headaches from what I’ve heard. But there doesn’t seem to be any major memory loss or lapses in memory, which you’d think would be given with brain cancer.”

Barry didn’t know what to say. He put his face in his hands, himself feeling a headache coming on.

Iris reached out, and she squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry, Barry. I wish I can give you better news. I think it’s best if you keep your distance from Hartley. I’m not sure he wants you to help him. He has Caitlin and his other doctors. And his mother too. After whatever happened when you were drunk and Flashpoint on top of that, I think you’re the last person Hartley wants to spend time with.”

Barry frowned. “You know I can’t do that, Iris.” He said to her. Then he recalled Iris only mentioning Hartley’s mother. “Why isn’t Hartley’s father involved? I remember Hartley saying he was going to dinner with his parents months ago. I thought he’d reconciled with them.”

Iris sighed. “That didn’t last. When Hartley let them know he was sick, only his mother came around. Apparently, his father declined a reconciliation even in light of his son being in real danger of dying. Have to say, that man is an asshole.” She said frankly.

“I have to see Hartley,” Barry decided, standing up.

Iris looked like she wanted to deter him, but then she shook her head. “It’s hopeless to persuade you not to, isn’t it? Whenever you set your mind to something, you can be stubborn. But don’t blame me if Hartley doesn’t accept your help. I did warn you.”

Barry kissed her quickly. “Yes, I heard you. I’m still going to try. I can’t just avoid Hartley when he has cancer. He needs all the support he can get right now.”

“You’re right. Of course, you’re right,” Iris said, relenting.

Barry smiled at her and then he flashed away.

~ * ~

Earth 8  
Following the funeral:

“The way that Joe and Iris looked at us, Cisco… they blame us,” Caitlin said quietly, frowning as she recalled the tense, awkward atmosphere with Joe and Iris at the cemetery. “And they’re right to do that. I hate that we weren’t able to help Barry.”

“I wish we could have done more too,” Cisco admitted.

Cisco sighed. He sat down in the other chair in the Med Bay. He looked over at Hartley in the bed – still deep in his coma. He idly thought that the CCPD would be getting busier now, and in the worst way. Criminals would soon realize the Flash was gone. That would make wreaking havoc, committing crimes and killing people easier for them. 

But if Caitlin was right, and Hartley did have superspeed, then there was still hope. That in a few months’ time, Hartley would wake up and he could take up the mantle of the hero vigilante speedster. 

The thought was ridiculous even in Cisco’s mind. This was Hartley Rathaway for crying out loud. He never imagined that the man who’d annoyed him from their first meeting could become a speedster, a hero.

True, Hartley had become more of a member of the team when he helped in the defeat of several powerful metas. But still, Cisco couldn’t fully shake the weirdness of it all.

“We won’t see much of the Wests anymore, I guess,” Caitlin said in resignation.

“Barry was the only thing bringing us and them together. And now with him gone, and their unhappiness with us… it looks like our team will be different now,” Cisco said.

Caitlin nodded, biting her lip. She turned her attention to Hartley’s comatose body. “I have a theory about Hartley.”

“What is it?”

“We don’t know for certain what happened when Hartley was with Barry. Particularly when Barry died…”

“There was a break in the skylight above, remember?” Cisco reminded her. “It was raining, and Hartley must have been hit by lightning. That explains why he has to have superspeed now. At least we know he has a hyper-metabolism based on your tests. And earlier, Hartley surviving that dose of powerful anti-seizure med at the warehouse.”

“Yes, but Cisco… getting struck by lightning wouldn’t have been enough. Barry himself got struck by lightning, but it was right at the moment of the particle accelerator explosion and several chemicals from his lab were absorbed into him.”

Cisco nodded. “So more than one factor in play, yeah. I get it.”

Caitlin appeared nervous prior to speaking her next words. “Now maybe this sounds crazy…”

“I think we’ve dealt with enough this past year and half to accept “crazy” as the norm.”

“I was considering that when Barry…died… did the speed force inside him die with him? Or did it move elsewhere? It wouldn’t be too strange to accept the speed force as a sentient being… something aware enough to be able to move from one body to the next. And with Hartley as the only living person present…”

Cisco widened his eyes. “Seriously? You believe the speed force in Barry got inside Hartley? What, because it didn’t want to be in a dead person anymore? Some loyalty there.” He rolled his eyes.

“Maybe Barry’s speed force felt it’s time wasn’t up. It still had work to do.”

“The speed force felt… okay, maybe we are heading into crazy territory,” Cisco decided.

Caitlin shrugged, giving him a weak smile. “Sorry… it was just a thought.”

“Is there a way to check then?” Cisco asked. “With Barry’s body? If he still has the speed force? It’ll be difficult now since he’s six feet under.”

“That’s why I feel confident about this theory… I did get an opportunity to check if Barry still had the speed force before he was buried,” she confessed to him. “I’m sorry I didn’t bring it up until now. But with the funeral and everything, I just didn’t feel it was the right time.”

“And you didn’t find it in Barry?”

Caitlin shook her head. “It was a little tricky since he was dead, but there were no markers of the speed force in his system. Best I could tell.”

Cisco took a deep breath, exhaling. “Well, when Hartley wakes up, we’ll know for sure.”

Caitlin agreed. “Oh and by the way, Singh is coming by in an hour or two. I told him it may still be months before Hartley wakes up, but Singh still wants to keep visiting him.”

“Well, Hartley is the Captain’s significant other. Don’t blame the man,” Cisco said in understanding.

~ * ~

Earth 1  
November 2016:

“I should have known,” Hartley muttered, but he remained seated in the car anyway. “I’m not interested in talking, so just drive.”

Barry frowned. He had a feeling Hartley wouldn’t appreciate the surprise he pulled on him. But it still admittedly hurt to have it confirmed. 

Not long after he’d spoken to Iris, her mention of Hartley’s mother and her involvement gave him an idea. 

After the weekend, on Monday, Barry had used the facial HR’s transmogrifier to make himself resemble Hartley’s mother. That way, he could be there for Hartley at the hospital during his treatment. Then he’d drive Hartley home. The staff would ask fewer questions if it was Hartley’s mother versus just a friend. And Barry didn’t doubt that he’d have asked the staff to make Barry leave, probably come up with a lie about Barry harassing him. He wouldn’t put it past Hartley considering the cold – lukewarm if he was feeling optimistic – reception from Hartley at the park.

Yet it looked like Hartley valued the relationship with his mother, at least her willingness to reconcile with him. So in the end, he managed to keep quiet until they were alone in the car.

But Barry didn’t miss the glares shot his way during the whole time at the hospital. 

It was like Hartley was saying, “If you think I’ll buy this trick, then you don’t know me at all.”

Barry started the car. “I couldn’t just do nothing, Hartley. After all you’re going through. And with me being the cause of your illness, even if it was unintentional--”

“Don’t worry,” Hartley said casually. “You’ll be rid of me soon. Then you don’t have to feel guilty about it. I’m sorry for making your life difficult.” He said, his tone flippant.

“Hartley, please… I don’t want to hear you talking about…your death like it’s a certainty. There’s still hope. I hope you can believe there’s a chance for beating this cancer.”

Hartley was quiet for a long period of time.

“Hartley?”

He looked to his right where Hartley was sitting. He was peering out the window, watching the scenery pass by.

“There is no chance,” Hartley said. “And whoever’s arm you twisted to get information on me must have told you about the time you got drunk.”

Barry was surprised that Hartley brought up the drunk incident without any lead in from Barry. Either Hartley predicted – admittedly correctly – that was a big reason why Barry had come. 

Even if Barry would want to say the main reason was to help Hartley during this challenging time, he couldn’t lie to himself. Trying to get details on that specific incident was another reason, albeit a rather selfish one he admitted to himself in resignation.

Or the event weighed so heavily on Hartley’s mind that he couldn’t stop himself from bringing it up.

“It looks like you’re the only one, besides maybe Caitlin, who knows what really happened.”

“I’m not going to tell you,” Hartley was quick to say. “That’s the price you have to pay for what you did. Make a lucky guess, and maybe you’ll be right.”

Barry was earnest as he spoke, “Whatever happened then, I’m sorry, all right? I’m sure that version of me regrets his actions. And he wanted to apologize to you. Hopefully you would have forgiven him.”

“Of course because Barry Allen wants to make sure everyone will forgive him. Because how could anyone stay mad at you?” Hartley said darkly.

“I guess you and Cisco are close these days?” Barry ventured. 

He considered that simply based on the fact that both he and Hartley were not on good terms with Barry. Although there was Iris’s recollection of that meeting where Cisco and Hartley had been arguing. Except Barry hadn’t been sure whether that’d been indicative of their day-to-day interaction. 

Hartley rolled his eyes. “Yeah, exactly like Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. I thought I requested that you not to talk to me, Allen.”

Barry sighed, trying not to feel bothered by Hartley calling him by his last name. He understood that Hartley was making an effort to distance himself from Barry. But Barry wouldn’t allow Hartley’s persistent stubbornness deter him.

“I don’t want you to die,” Barry told him honestly. “If you want to be treated at Star Labs, then you are welcome to. I trust Caitlin’s medical expertise more than these doctors you have here. And you don’t have to hide your illness from me anymore. I know now and I want to make sure you receive the best treatment available. I can take you to Star Labs, if you want, for your chemo.”

Hartley’s mouth twitched. He looked somewhat amused. “I know you hate driving or being in a car at all. Too slow for you even going at 100 miles per hour… You think you can survive all that car time?”

“Helping you is more important than my feelings on cars,” Barry answered, his tone firm. 

And Barry truly meant it. His annoyance with cars was trivial when compared to Hartley fighting cancer and seeing death’s door closing in sooner than anyone his age should.

“Hartley… you know you can tell me about your memory of when I was drunk. I promise I won’t judge.”

“Were you disappointed I didn’t confide in Iris about that night? She did try to find out, I’ll give her that.”

“No, Hartley. I--” Barry paused, realizing Hartley knew exactly who Barry had gone to. “I didn’t find out from her.”

“Process of elimination and your guilty face is not helping either. I’m sure you want to tell me that you snuck in to look at my medical files. Superspeed does make that possible, I believe that. But the drunk story? Don’t bother lying to explain that one. It’s a waste of time to let you in on what happened. You can just decide that other version of you carried the full blame if the story bothers you. So you can remove yourself from the incident because it’ll make your life easier.”

“I’m not thinking of it that way, Hartley.”

“Well, the truth is I was there that night. I lived it. I remember. I have to live with what happened. And I can’t trust that you won’t be tempted to blame the other version of you…washing your hands clean of any involvement.”

Barry felt uneasy. “Was it that bad? What happened when I was drunk?”

“No, I’m not doing that. I told you all I want to tell you about that time. Imagine what happened all you want, but I’m done.”

“Iris thinks you told Caitlin,” Barry brought up, trying to keep his tone light even if he sort of wanted to shake Hartley to get the story out of him. “Since you confide in her a lot.”

“I told you I’m done,” Hartley said, not backing down.

Silence fell between them. A few minutes later, when Barry looked over at Hartley, he noticed that he had paled, and his hands were curled tightly into fists. Barry thought that Hartley was trying to avoid something. His first guess was that he was about to be sick, which considering Hartley’s condition, was not surprising.

Barry pulled the car over, turning off the engine and putting the car in park. “Are you all right?”

Hartley didn’t say anything, just made a point of not looking at Barry and focusing his attention out the window instead.

“If you’re not feeling well--” Barry said, trailing off when Hartley finally faced him with a frown.

“When am I not these days?” Hartley shot back at him darkly. 

He opened his door and got out of the car. 

“Hartley--”

Barry quickly went over to Hartley to help him. Hartley was sitting down on the grassy curb with his knees up and his arms crossed over them.

“The car moving made me feel nauseous. I’ll be fine.”

Barry eyed him, not quite believing him. “If you need to throw up…”

“Maybe another time,” Hartley said, rolling his eyes.

Barry bit his lip. “I’m sorry if the talk of that memory bothered you… and if that’s what is giving you nausea now.”

“You really do think a lot of yourself, don’t you?” Hartley said.

Even this version of Hartley was not the easiest to talk to. Some things didn’t change apparently. Barry decided to put most of the blame elsewhere. The cancer undoubtedly had to make Hartley more prone to frustration.

Barry was about to say something in response when Hartley stood up abruptly.

He went over to a nearby bush and vomited into it. Barry was right behind him, but he felt Hartley’s shoulder tense when he put his hand over it.

He still stayed, wanting to help. After just a handful of minutes, Hartley stopped and stood up straighter. His legs were shaky so Barry grabbed his arm to prevent him from falling. 

“How are you?” He asked Hartley quietly.

“Fine.” He said shortly, not so subtly removing his arm from Barry’s grip. 

He sat down again. 

“I can’t do this with you, do you understand? I can’t be your friend,” Hartley confided in him, his tone firm. “I can’t trust you when you say you won’t travel in time again. Maybe the others accept that you’re different, that you have other memories than we have. But I’ve realized that I’m… not okay with that. I never thought I’d have to deal with something like this, but here I am… and I think it’s best that we just avoid each other. You’re making this worse, Barry. Just stop trying to help me.”

“I can take you to Star Labs,” Barry offered. “After that, I’ll keep my distance.”

Though he wanted to say more, he decided that Hartley wouldn’t change his mind. However much he hated to admit defeat, perhaps with Hartley, Barry had to. It was the best thing to do. Hartley needed to focus on getting better and maybe Barry’s presence was preventing that goal.

After all, his return with Eobard Thawne to this new timeline had led to Hartley’s cancer. No matter how unintentional it was on Barry’s part – if he’d known Hartley would suffer a life-threatening condition because of it, then well… in this case, Barry had been left with little choice. He had been losing his memory of his old life, of being the Flash, and Wally had been close to death. 

The best option would have been not traveling back in the first place. He should have gone back inside Joe’s house after Iris had. He shouldn’t have made that impulsive trip to save his mother.

But it was too late now for the what ifs.

And Barry was sure that trying to get Hartley to tell him about that memory didn’t help Hartley either.

“All right. We can go to Star Labs,” Hartley said, his voice a whisper.

He allowed Barry to guide him to his seat in the car. 

Before he restarted the car, Barry looked over at him in concern. “If you feel nauseous again while I’m driving…”

“I have an anti-emetic for that,” Hartley assured him. “I’ll take it now. It should work.”

“Okay. You know I could always take you a faster way, but I’m not sure if it’ll be safe in your condition.”

“I can manage. Your speed isn’t required,” Hartley said with certainty. “But thanks for the consideration,” he added, seeming to relent a little after his harsh words earlier.

Barry gave him a small smile in return.

~ * ~


	3. Chapter 3

They arrived in Star Labs, and Caitlin insisted that Hartley come to the Med Bay. He reluctantly agreed to let her run some tests.

“I did just have chemo. I’m sure whatever is going on with me now is a side effect of that. And maybe Barry’s bad driving.”

Caitlin gave Barry a questioning look. He had followed after them, intent on providing assistance. 

“Hey!” Barry couldn’t help but shout. “I mean, I don’t drive a lot, but still.”

Caitlin shook her head at him, appearing mildly amused. She then told him, “Barry, I appreciate you bringing Hartley here. But you can leave if you want. I have things handled here. I have Cisco and HR to help me if needed.”

While Barry wanted to argue, he decided not to from the hard look on Caitlin’s face. Hartley seemed to avoid looking at him, which Barry expected.

“All right,” Barry said.

He stood awkwardly just a short distance away as Hartley took off his coat and shoes and sat down on the bed. Caitlin hooked Hartley up to the machines. Hartley complained about having to lie down. 

Cisco popped in to the Med Bay, his demeanor a little…nervous Barry would say when Cisco glanced over at him.

He spoke to Caitlin directly, pointedly ignoring that Barry was in the room.

“There’s a meta alert. I can take care of it since Wally just got his speed and I don’t have a suit for him yet.”

Annoyed was what Barry first felt when Cisco didn’t even mention him. Especially when in the past, Cisco would have gone to him and it would’ve been a given that Barry would handle the alert. That feeling was mixed with an unpleasant dose of feeling left out. And that hurt worse. 

Caitlin looked over at Barry sadly. She was uneasy, understanding that Cisco’s remarks wouldn’t sit well with Barry at all.

“All of you are idiots,” Hartley muttered under his breath.

Then he proceeded to steadily ignore them even as Caitlin returned to taking his blood.

“I’ll handle the meta. You stay here, Cisco. I can manage without the suit.”

“You could be found out,” Cisco said, although he said it without much concern in his tone.

Caitlin turned to them, frowning. “Really, Cisco. You’re the one who destroyed a perfectly functioning suit. But you can’t expect that will stop Barry. Even if he has to be more careful now.”

“And you said you were making it better,” Barry brought up. “So you did really destroy it? I thought you cared, man, about what we do here. Saving people, stopping crimes.”

“I do!” Cisco exclaimed. “That’s why I said I would go.”

“Cisco!” Caitlin scolded him, raising her voice. “You shouldn’t punish Barry this way, where innocent people can get hurt without the Flash making regular patrols. I know you’re improving with your powers, but you still need time. After all, you did suffer a mini-stroke only last week when you transported us to help save Barry from Savitar. While not overly concerning, I don’t recommend you head out for crime-fighting duty on your own now.”

Cisco looked like he wanted to argue, but then he raised his hands in defeat. “Fine. I have a spare Flash suit. A few months ago, Caitlin insisted I make one as a back-up.”

“All right, where is it?”

“My workroom. I’ll fill you in on the meta alert,” Cisco said tiredly, a resigned look in his eyes. 

He turned away from Barry, exiting the room.

Barry followed him as he left the Med Bay.

~ * ~

“Hartley, have you been eating okay?” Caitlin asked him. “Being on chemo, your appetite has to be affected.”

Hartley shrugged. “I try my best.”

“I don’t like the look of your numbers. Your blood glucose is very low.”

“But I’m fine,” he assured her.

Hartley tried to steady himself, hoping Caitlin wouldn’t notice, as a wave of dizziness struck him when he moved to stand up from the bed.

“No, Hartley. I should clarify with that being after I gave you a glucose supplement. Your numbers should be improved now following the treatment.”

Hartley narrowed his eyes. “What are you trying to say?”

“I—perhaps I should keep you here for observation. I must not have given you enough. I’ll have to monitor you. Set you up with an IV.”

“I don’t want to stay.”

“What? Worried Barry would want to stay to keep you company?”

“If I’m here, I can’t get away from thinking about being sick… that’s the last thing I need.”

“I understand, but I really would prefer if you stayed. The sooner you accept, the faster we can get you better.”

Hartley raised his eyebrow at her. 

“You can choose to be pessimistic, but I still have hope. After all, you’re not dealing with memory issues, which I’m certain would have manifested by now with the tumor in your brain.”

“Must be my stubbornness,” Hartley said lightly.

He laid back down on the bed all the same.

“I miss him, don’t you?” Hartley spoke after several long moments of silence as Caitlin inserted an IV and checked his vitals.”

“Miss who?” Caitlin asked, confused.

“The Barry I first got to know. The one the other Barry knocked out when he traveled back in time.”

Caitlin nodded. “Yes. You and he seemed to become good friends.”

“Yeah, we were.”

Caitlin was sorely tempted to ask him about the incident, when Barry had gotten drunk and visited Hartley. Well, specifically the Barry who’d altered Hartley’s past, an unplanned change that had led to Hartley’s reformation.

But Caitlin was well aware that Hartley didn’t much care to talk about that Barry or this Barry now, the one who had created Flashpoint. Hartley had always liked the first Barry the most.

“Hartley, if things between you and Barry are causing you stress, you need to talk about it. It won’t help your health to keep the negativity inside… I’m here for you if you want to talk.”

“I was fine with Barry…until that one time.”

“After Zoom took his speed?” Caitlin prompted gently.

“I think you can figure out what happened when the other Barry got drunk.”

“I don’t want to make assumptions,” she countered.

Hartley sighed. “You know what they say. Sometimes it’s easier to blame others than yourself.”

“Hartley…” she said, her voice quiet.

He turned his face away from her.

He didn’t answer her and so Caitlin let the conversation go. Instead she focused on treating him –settling into doctor mode, which Hartley seemed to appreciate.

She had gotten as much out of him as she could hope for the night.

~ * ~

Earth 8  
6 months after Hartley fell into a coma:

Hartley woke up confused and he wondered why he was in a hospital bed.

No, wait. It was the Med Bay at Star Labs.

“You’re up. Nice to see you with your eyes open, man,” Cisco said.

Hartley just stared at him. “What…?” His throat felt dry. He needed water.

“Here you go,” Cisco gave him a glass of water. 

Hartley took it gratefully and almost drank it too quickly, though he knew he shouldn’t. 

Cisco gave him a look. Hartley shot him a “so what are you going to do about it?” look in return, falling easily back into their natural antagonism toward one another. 

“I’ll let Caitlin know you’re awake.”

“Hey, Caitlin,” Cisco beckoned her, stepping out of the Med Bay. “Sleeping Beauty is up!”

“Is that the best you can do?” Hartley said, rolling his eyes.

“I have several… if you want to--”

“Cisco!” Caitlin scolded him, eyeing him. “Hartley just woke up and you’re already throwing insults.”

“Hey, thought he’d take it as a compliment.”

“Yeah, if I was deaf,” Hartley said in annoyance. 

“All right. I need to look you over, Hartley,” Caitlin told him, her tone professional and full-on doctor mode. “Cisco, you should go.”

“Hey,” Cisco turned back, his face contrite. He spoke seriously, “I am glad you’re back with us, Hartley. It’s been a long six months.”

Hartley watched him leave the Med Bay, eyes widening as he turned to Caitlin. “David? How is he? I need to see him… speak to him.”

“I understand, Hartley. But Singh will have to come here. I’m not making the same mistake as I did with…” she trailed off. 

Hartley knew she was talking about Barry, but he let it go. He couldn’t bear to think about him. Flashes were coming back to him with a very clear one of collapsing beside Barry’s body. He had checked his pulse only to find none -- confirming to him that Barry was dead.

“I can’t let you leave here so soon. I want you stay here for a few days until I’m sure you’re all right. Singh has been visiting you, and he will understand my requirement that you stay.”

Hartley watched silently as Caitlin did her tests on him, checking his vitals, taking his blood.

“Can you at least tell me what’s happened the last six months? While I was wasting my life away sleeping?” Hartley spoke up, his patience wearing thin. 

He didn’t feel too sorry for sounding annoyed. Knowing his boyfriend had to deal with him in a coma for half a year bothered him. 

If it were the other way around, Hartley didn’t doubt that he’d be so worried that he would have found it hard to concentrate on anything else.

Just because Barry – and there he was back in Hartley’s mind again – woke up from a nine month coma didn’t mean that Hartley would. A 100 percent certainty of waking up and living a normal life was a fantasy, a dream for coma patients. 

Hartley knew he should be grateful for being alive now. But he felt different now, and he wasn’t sure if it was a good different or bad different.

He wasn’t the same person that he’d been when he had gone to the warehouse to help Barry with that meta.

Caitlin gave a sigh. “This was out of your control, Hartley. You shouldn’t feel bad about losing that time. We are grateful that you’re with us now.”

“What happened? Is Barry --? I remember checking…and he was gone.”

Caitlin nodded. “There was a funeral for him. I can tell you what cemetery his grave is located, if you would like to visit. Unfortunately, Joe and Iris have parted ways with us… they don’t believe Cisco and I did enough to help Barry. And I do think they are right, however hard it is for me to admit. I wish Barry hadn’t died,” Caitlin said sadly. “It’s best if you avoid Joe and Iris too. Especially since you were the last to see Barry alive.”

“I imagine they would have preferred to be with him in his final moments. I understand that. I wish we could have done more too,” Hartley agreed.

“Hartley, do you recall anything else happening to you? Before you fell unconscious?”

He shook his head. “Not sure. After confirming Barry was dead, I don’t think I was paying too much attention to anything else.”

“You were struck by lightning, Hartley,” Caitlin said softly. 

Hartley stared at her, and it did look like Caitlin wanted to tell him more, but she seemed to realize he would get what she was hinting at. Especially with the serious look on her face.

The look that meant, “No, this doesn’t mean you’ll be fine wearing shorts in cold weather because your sense of cold and hot has gone haywire.” 

No, it wasn’t that simple. Hartley was glad that Caitlin allowed him to work it out for himself. He wasn’t a genius for no reason. And after working with the team, with the Flash, Hartley knew exactly what a lightning strike could lead to.

“Considering where Barry is now, I can’t see the positive in this.”

Just then Cisco came back into the room. Hartley wondered if he had been eavesdropping, just waiting for the best time to join in to the conversation.

“Don’t worry about that man. Caitlin and I have been working a new speedster suit that’ll stop metas from doing mind control on you.”

Hartley widened his eyes. “You let Caitlin help you with a suit?” 

He was surprised as usually Cisco preferred to work on tech such as the speedster suit on his own.

Cisco shrugged. “She’s the expert on speedster brains. I couldn’t do it without her.”

“I haven’t seen if I even have speed… and we’re already talking about a suit. I’m sure it will look ridiculous with Cisco making it.”

“The suit won’t look ridiculous,” Cisco shot back, a little wounded.

Caitlin smiled. “If you hadn’t noticed, Cisco, you and Hartley haven’t always been on the best terms. I’m sure you can understand Hartley’s wariness. That you’d have him wear something that’ll make him look… silly.”

Hartley nodded in firm agreement, looking pointedly at Cisco.

“You’ll survive,” Cisco assured him.

“How comforting,” said Hartley, not hiding the sarcasm in his words.

Hartley wasn’t assured after the little smile Cisco had on his face. There was a touch of mischief there Hartley was concerned about.

After Cisco left the room again, Hartley was concerned when Caitlin’s face was somber. He half-dreaded what she was going to say next.

“What?” Hartley asked.

Caitlin let out a sigh. “I know you just woke up, Hartley. But you have to accept that we need you, the city needs you. These past six months haven’t been easy. The crime rate has risen and people are wondering what happened to the Flash. Most decided that he has died, but unfortunately there are those who believe he’s immortal, and that he has simply abandoned the city, not caring about protecting it anymore.”

“Great,” Hartley said. 

He knew what Caitlin was getting at, but he wasn’t one to so easily take the bait.

“I can unhook you from the machines, Hartley. So you’ll have proof that you do have the speed force inside you. Maybe that’ll make it more real for you.”

“I prefer this being a dream, thanks. Just—could you get me something to eat? Real food?” Hartley asked, intent on eating some solid food after months of being hooked to an IV.

Caitlin shook her head apologetically. “I’d feel better to restrict you to a liquid diet for now. At least another day or so. I want to make sure your body has time to adjust to change. You should know it’s not wise to just start eating solid foods so soon after months of a coma.”

Hartley frowned. “Yes, I understand that. But I don’t have to like it.”

Caitlin’s eyes lit up, a smile coming on to her face. “I can make some adjustments. There are certain solid foods I can approve of eating now… that is, if you’re willing to test out your new abilities.”

Hartley shot her a glare. “Fine. I’ll do it. I’ll regret it, but I’ll test out the speed you believe I have.”

Caitlin called Cisco in to the Med Bay.

Hartley was beginning to feel like he was like some circus monkey, awaiting to perform for an audience. A rather irritating feeling that he hated. 

He almost fell off the bed as he climbed out of it. Cisco was there to grip his arm so he wouldn’t collapse as he set his feet on the ground. After months of lying in bed, Hartley felt that standing or even walking was a near foreign concept to his legs.

But after a few moments of getting his bearings, Hartley widened his eyes in surprise. He felt different, good or bad different he wasn’t really sure. When previously he had thought he’d need longer to adjust to walking again, moving his muscles even in a routine way, now, he was reconsidering. Hartley didn’t feel like he had been in a coma for six months. Inside of him, he could almost hear his body anxious to move, to walk, to run… he swore he felt stronger than he ever felt before. Where his muscles surely would have felt weak following the coma, they weren’t.

Hartley groaned. He was familiar with all the science behind Barry’s speed and regenerative abilities due to being a part of the team for months before Barry’s death.

So everything was adding up and he wasn’t sure what he felt about that. Hartley mostly just wanted to see David, as if seeing the man he loved would help him to make sense of this unnerving new reality he had woken up to.

Hartley shrugged Cisco off as he still had a grip on Hartley to insure he didn’t fall.

“I’m fine, Cisco. I think my balance is okay. But thanks,” Hartley added at the end, trying to express some appreciation toward Cisco. A gesture that wasn’t easy for him when it came to Cisco. They preferred to argue over being friendly with one another.

Cisco nodded, a slight smile on his face as if he knew why Hartley was doing fine without help. He was anticipating just as Caitlin was that Hartley had superspeed.

“Something easy. I’ll push off a coffee mug from a desk,” Caitlin told him.

They went to one of the workrooms.

Hartley stood on the other side of the room with Cisco. Caitlin sat down at a desk and knocked an empty mug off of it.

Hartley had been doubtful a test like this would work as a first try. But he saw the mug start to fall as if in slow motion. 

Get it before it falls he said to himself.

Without him even thinking about it -- not fully -- his legs moved, and he sped to the desk. He caught the mug before it crashed to the ground.

“There’s your confirmation, Hartley,” said Caitlin.

Hartley was not happy. His new reality was now completely real… and why wasn’t David here? He had to call him. He needed David here… Hartley felt like he could deal with this better if his boyfriend was here.

“Hartley, I’m sorry,” Caitlin told him sincerely. “I know this is a lot to take… we’re still finding it hard too, losing Barry.”

“Not to mention we believe that the speed force inside Barry got into you after he died,” Cisco put in.

Caitlin hit him in the back of the head. “Cisco!”

Cisco looked only slightly sorry for revealing that bit of information.

Hartley stared at Cisco then at Caitlin.

“I have to… I have to go,” Hartley said.

He sped out of the room before either of them could stop him.

Hartley leaned against the wall in one of the winding corridors. He was breathing too fast and he tried to tell himself to calm down, not to let this panic attack get the best of him. But he just couldn’t calm himself. Getting struck by lightning was one thing, but to know that he had Barry’s speed force would take some time to make peace with, if he ever would.

He looked up when he heard someone approach. It was Caitlin carrying his phone.

“I’m sorry for what Cisco said. You can call David if you want. I hope that will help.”

Hartley took the phone Caitlin offered to him. He looked at her. “Is it true what Cisco said about Barry’s speed force?”

Caitlin nodded slowly as if Hartley would fall apart if she confirmed it.

“I’m not completely sure, Hartley,” she then added, as if her uncertainty would make the revelation easier to process. “But I examined Barry after he died and the speed force wasn’t in him. I strongly believe that something else had to have happened to give you your speed – not just a lightning strike.”

“Because Barry got his during the particle accelerator explosion – the lightning hitting him in the midst of the explosion.”

“I suppose in your case, his speed force took the place of the particle accelerator explosion.”

“Right,” Hartley said curtly, looking at his phone, anxious to call David.

“You won’t leave, right? It’s safer that you stay here for a few more days. No matter your new abilities, you still have just come out of a coma. You can ask David to visit any time, of course.”

“I’ll stay,” Hartley reassured her, letting out a small, half-smile, as his mind was still reeling from this new revelation of having Barry’s speed force inside him.

~ * ~

Earth 1:

The days turned into weeks and Hartley’s condition wasn’t getting any better. Unfortunately his health was worsening as the cancer took its toll.

Barry, Cisco and Iris waited for Caitlin’s update on Hartley’s cancer fight. The mood in the room was grim as everyone wasn’t anticipating the good news that they wished would come. 

“I’m sorry,” said Caitlin. “I had hoped the radiation and chemo would weaken the cancer. At least make up for the fact that surgery is not an option for him. But the trouble is that…” Caitlin trailed off, looking over at the Med Bay where Hartley was asleep, something that was commonplace for him these days.

“What is it?” Barry asked her.

“I try to make sure he’s eating enough. But based on his lab tests, his body is not absorbing the nutrients as it should. It’s likely an adverse side effect of his treatments. But the numbers I’m seeing have alarmed me. I’m worried about continuing to treat Hartley when he’s not strong enough for it.”

“But isn’t this normal?” Iris wondered. “Along with the nausea, vomiting and lack of appetite?”

“If Caitlin’s concerned, then I’m betting that this issue she’s found is not normal even for cancer patients,” Cisco said.

Caitlin’s face fell. “I’m sorry, guys… I think due to the unusual way Hartley got his cancer, this adverse effect is difficult to address. I’ve given him different meds, tried enriched shakes, but it’s not working as well as I would like. If he continues to worsen as he has… I have to say that I’m at a loss here.”

She looked unhappy at having to admit that.

Barry sighed, resigned. “It’s my fault. If I hadn’t created Flashpoint and then returned, Hartley would have been okay.”

“But wasn’t it the particle accelerator explosion that caused the piercing scream in Hartley’s ears?” Iris pointed out. “Having that led him to be sensitive to sound created by your return from traveling in time.”

“And we can all blame that on the fake Wells,” Cisco said darkly. “He had to intentionally create the conditions for the particle accelerator to explode so Barry could get his powers. Without caring how others were affected.”

Barry shook his head, standing up. “Thanks. I get you all are trying to make me feel better, but I still feel guilty for having brought this on. I thought I can somehow accept the changes my actions caused… but I’m not sure anymore. I still wish I could make things right with you, Cisco. Now with Hartley’s poor prognosis… I guess this is the punishment I deserve.”

“You don’t have to beat yourself up about this, man,” Cisco said. “I know you’ve been spending time with Hartley even if lately, he’s not been very talkative. I can see you’re trying to make up for the time you don’t remember having with him. Even at the expense of your relationship with Iris.”

“I’m all right with it. Some things are more important,” Iris was quick to say. “And I could see the guilt was wearing you down, Barry. I don’t want to stop you for doing what you have to. Barring time travel as in the end, that didn’t help…for the long term at least.”

Barry gave her a weak smile. “Thanks.”

Caitlin spoke up, trying to sound positive. “I’ll do more research, see if I can come up with a solution to help Hartley.”

~ * ~

They had the Philosopher’s Stone in their possession, but Barry was hesitant to follow Jay’s plan. Throwing the box with the stone into the speed force sounded like a great idea at first to ensure Savitar couldn’t escape and attack them. The speed force was an endless void of time and energy, right, and anything put there would be hard to find. It was the best strategy, wasn’t it?

But he thought about what Hartley would do. Just throwing the stone away into a place that Barry knew little about it didn’t seem the wisest move. And they knew that Savitar was imprisoned, but they didn’t know where. Shouldn’t they get more information before throwing away the one thing that could bring Savitar back? They didn’t have absolute certainty that the stone in the speed force couldn’t be accessed by anyone who could go into the speed force, and accidentally come upon the stone.

“I’m going to talk to Hartley about the plan,” Barry spoke up. 

The rest of the group – Iris, Cisco, Caitlin, Joe, Wally, Jay, and Julian – just stared at him in surprise. As if they just expected Barry to execute the plan without giving it more thought.

Caitlin bit her lip, looking doubtful. “Barry, I’m not sure if Hartley’s up to any conversation now. He’s been vomiting most of the day, and feeling miserable.”

“But that’s normal for him these days,” said Cisco, brushing it off.

Caitlin sighed. “Yes, you’re not wrong. But still…”

Barry held up his hand. “I understand, Caitlin. But he’s still a part of the team even if I can’t remember all the ways he has aided us. I want to get his input. With something as big as this stone and stopping Savitar’s threat, I don’t want to go ahead without having a second opinion.”

“Hartley will say it’s a stupid plan just to be contrary,” Cisco said matter-of-factly. 

Barry nodded. “All the same, I want to do this. Is that all right, Jay?” He turned to the older man.

Jay shrugged. “Do what you feel you need to. I’m not against getting more feedback. You’re right – we need to go into this carefully. If you think Hartley can help, then talk to him.”

“Thank you.”

Barry headed to the Med Bay. Fortunately, Hartley was awake, but he was in the midst of expelling the meagre amount of food he had managed to consume into a bucket beside him.

“Nice timing,” Hartley muttered.

“How are you feeling?”

But Barry knew that was the wrong thing to say when Hartley glared at him. “Amazing,” he said sarcastically. “Now ask me another asinine question to make my day even better.”

“Sorry,” Barry said, frowning. “I can empty the bucket for you.”

Hartley shrugged. “Fine.”

Barry grabbed the bucket, sped out to empty it in the restroom, and then sped back to the Med Bay with the bucket in hand.

Barry set the bucket back down on the bed beside Hartley, but he, in irritation, pushed it off the bed. As if the bucket’s presence annoyed him. The bucket clattered to the floor. 

“What do you want?” Hartley asked him, his tone cold.

Barry tried not to be bothered by Hartley’s attitude. He gave him a glass of water to drink. He imagined after the vomiting, Hartley’s throat would be dry.

Hartley silently took the glass, just managing to hold it in a shaky hand. Barry reached out to help him steady the glass. Hartley gave him a sour look and if he had spoken out loud, Barry didn’t doubt he would have sworn at him. 

It was the norm these last few weeks as the chemo and radiation and their side effects caused Hartley’s mood to be particularly unpleasant.

Still, he felt sad that Hartley was being short with him. 

“I’m sorry, Hartley. I was only trying to help,” he said quietly. 

Hartley looked thoughtfully at Barry before he handed him back the glass as if it were a peace offering. “Thanks,” he said in barely heard whisper, but Barry didn’t miss it.

Barry wished Hartley wasn’t dealing with this cancer, that he could have seen, remembered, the Hartley before he had been diagnosed with cancer. The Hartley who had become a part of team: the one who had made Barry’s fight with Zoom easier through that pain-causing serum, the one who he had decided to visit when he’d been drunk… somehow that moment leading to a break in their friendship. 

He had never realized how important memories were until now. Until the memories he should have had weren’t there. And it was his fault because of his time travel. Skipping over periods of time had consequences, and Barry feared that Hartley’s death would be another awful cost of his impulsive decision.

Possibly the worst one as Barry was watching Hartley deteriorate in front of him. He had made a point of coming to see him – even if it was to sit by his bed as Hartley slept. He wanted to see with his own eyes what his actions had caused.

“We found the box with the Philosopher’s Stone,” Barry told him. 

He, Cisco and Caitlin had kept Hartley informed of what was going on with Dr. Alchemy, the Philosopher’s Stone, and Savitar. “We found out if the box is opened, then Savitar can manifest via the stone. We’re thinking of throwing the box into the Speed Force. Hopefully Savitar can’t escape without the box being opened.”

“You still don’t know where Savitar is imprisoned?”

Barry shook his head.

“So you’re throwing the stone away into the Speed Force, not knowing if maybe Savitar is in there? If Savitar is trapped in the Speed Force, you’ll be giving him a gift.”

When Hartley put it like that, Barry couldn’t argue with his logic. His own reservations led him to seek out Hartley’s opinion after all.

“You believe it’s a bad idea,” Barry concluded.

Hartley glared at him. “Do whatever you want, Allen. Now please leave me alone. I’m tired,” he muttered, turning his face away from him.

Barry raised his hands. “All right. I’m going, I’m going,” he assured Hartley.

He made his way out of the room, but he couldn’t leave without saying one more thing. 

“Thank you, Hartley, for your opinion. You may have just saved us from Savitar’s threat.”

Hartley snorted. “I’m sure you could have come to the same conclusion. If you were able to rub a few more brain cells together than you normally do.”

Barry sighed, choosing not to be baited by Hartley’s words. Sure, Hartley may be looking for an argument, but Barry thought it wasn’t the time for that. Hartley wasn’t in any state to engage in an ultimately fruitless war of words. He needed to relax and rest so he could beat his cancer.

“Okay, whatever you say,” he told in a placating tone. “Just get some more rest, all right? Use the call button if you need anything.”

“Will do that,” said Hartley.

He looked already to be half-asleep as Barry made his exit. He reminded himself to ask Caitlin about getting Hartley to eat something in the next hour or so.

Barry left the Med Bay and headed back to the rest of the team.

“We’re not throwing the stone into the Speed Force,” he told them, his tone firm and not leaving room for dissent. “Savitar could be in there. Until we know with complete certainty where Savitar is imprisoned--”

Cisco finished Barry’s thought, “We’re not giving him the thing he needs to manifest so he can cause chaos.”

Barry nodded.

Jay seemed to accept the change in plan. “That precaution makes sense. But how do we get rid of the Philosopher’s Stone now? It can’t be destroyed.”

“I guess we secure it as best as we can,” Iris put in.

Caitlin looked uneasy, a guilty look on her face. “I’m sorry, guys… I feel bad about this. But since we’re not throwing the stone away… I suppose it’s best to confess.”

Everyone turned to look at her, curious what she had been hiding.

Caitlin took out a small piece of the stone from her pocket. “I thought that having some of the stone would help get rid of my powers. I haven’t had the chance to try as we got the stone only a few hours ago. And then with taking care of Hartley…” she trailed off, shrugging. “I was foolish for thinking I could figure this out on my own. I had tried to go hunting for answers by myself last month, and that didn’t go well. I became a version of myself I never want to become again. I’m sorry.”

Barry went to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. “Thank you for telling us, Caitlin. Like I promised you before, we will do all we can to help you.”

He embraced her, a hug that she gratefully accepted. 

“Especially if we’ve managed to stop Savitar from manifesting ever again, we have some spare time on our hands,” Cisco quipped with a quick grin.

Caitlin gave him a half-smile as she pulled away from Barry. “Thank you, Cisco.”

“We should keep Caitlin’s piece separate from the bigger stone,” Wally spoke up. “Hopefully that’ll keep Savitar from coming back.”

“But keeping the stone enclosed in the box prevents Savitar from appearing,” Cisco reminded him. “If we leave a small piece outside of the box, then Savitar will have a chance to return even if it’s brief.”

“We keep the whole stone in the box then,” Barry said. He enforced his point by taking Caitlin’s piece of stone and quickly slipping it into the box, shutting the box immediately. He knew all too well the danger of having the box opened, the memory of Savitar dragging him along like a helpless doll was one he wished he could forget.

“And Cisco, you could make a box to keep pieces of stone? So Savitar would need more than one box to escape his prison.”

Cisco’s eyes widened. “A box with properties like this one? That’s…impossible, but I’ll see what I can do.”

“I have to apologize for my actions as Dr. Alchemy. Even if I don’t recall what I did… but I never meant to cause such trouble,” Julian said, a frown on his face.

“Don’t worry about it, Julian,” Barry reassured him. “With luck, we won’t have to deal with Savitar any time soon.”

“You can have your job back, Allen, too… I’m sorry for forcing you to resign. Your space, your desk in the lab is still free for you to take back. If there’s anything you need me to do, I’ll do it.”

“Thank you, Julian.”

“This may sound weird… but I feel like we just stopped something terrible from happening. It’s almost eerie, but in a good way,” Iris brought up, rubbing her hands up and down her arms like she was cold.

Everyone else nodded slowly, understanding what she meant. 

“If Savitar never comes back, then there’s no better gift I can think of for Christmas,” Joe said frankly.

“Agreed,” Barry said with a smile. 

He kissed Iris, feeling in a celebratory mood.

Before he forgot, Barry talked to Caitlin about Hartley’s eating. Caitlin was just on her way to check on him.

“Do you want me to help?” Barry asked her.

“No, no, that’s all right. Cisco can help me, won’t you?”

“No problem,” Cisco said easily. 

“You enjoy your Christmas,” Caitlin told Barry with a smile, shooing him away. “We’ll meet up with you at the Wests.”

“Come on, Barry. Let’s go,” Iris said. “Hartley is in good hands. Don’t worry so much.”

~ * ~

Barry sped into Star Labs not long after his call with Cisco. He wished he had stayed with them, with Hartley instead of leaving to spend time with family on Christmas.

Caitlin had put up a front that everything was all right. That Hartley would be fine and they could have a nice Christmas without being concerned that he could die any minute.

But that was a lie. 

Hartley couldn’t hold on much longer. And Barry was impatient, his agitation growing as he waited to see Hartley. 

Cisco tried to calm him, telling Barry that he simply had to wait. Hartley’s mother wanted some private time with her son and they had to respect her wishes. Barry had to accept that he was really only Hartley’s friend, possibly not even that considering he didn’t remember how he and Hartley became friends due to his time travel.

Barry shot him a glare and Cisco was apologetic.

“I’m sorry, man,” Cisco said with a sigh. “I know now’s not the best time to bring out the truth bomb… but well, for what it’s worth, I’m sure Hartley appreciates your efforts over the past weeks.”

“I hope he does,” said Barry, sounding defeated and feeling the same. 

Not long afterwards, Hartley’s mother along with Caitlin exited the Med Bay. 

They both had somber expressions on their faces, and Barry feared the worst.

“I’m really sorry, Barry,” Caitlin told him, a few tears escaping and she swiped at her face to dry it. “Hartley’s gone.”

He was too late. Barry couldn’t believe it. He should have stayed, and now he felt that his attempts of forming a friendship with Hartley were for nothing. Hartley was dead. He was gone and Barry would never have a chance to fully make up it to him for not being the friend that Hartley remembered.

Caitlin walked out with Hartley’s mother as Barry tried his best to keep his emotions in check.

When Caitlin returned to the Cortex, Barry didn’t want to argue with her as this was understandably difficult for her too. Hartley had been her patient after all and a friend too.

Barry just saw Cisco’s nervous look as if he anticipated a fight.

Caitlin looked uneasily at Barry. “I’m sorry… I thought Hartley could hold on a little longer. I’m sorry, Barry.” 

She fidgeted with her hands and glanced at Cisco as if silently asking for his help.

“You shouldn’t have encouraged me to leave, Caitlin!” Barry yelled at her. “You knew I was trying to work things out with Hartley! And still, you told me to just go. But how could I possibly enjoy Christmas knowing a member of our team is fighting a losing battle with cancer? I wish I hadn’t listened to you!”

“I misjudged, Barry. I thought Hartley had more time. I’m sorry!” Caitlin exclaimed, at a loss at what else to say.

Barry raised his hands in anger, glaring at her. “I can’t be here. I don’t think I can be a part of a team with you guys. I just—I need to leave.”

Cisco stepped in between them, speaking up, “All right you two. I get that the tension is high now, but this isn’t what Hartley would want. He wouldn’t want his death to cause our team to break, for us to hate each other. So let’s just calm down, take a deep breath…”

Barry barely managed to listen to what Cisco was saying. He was fuming inside and found it hard to relax. Especially with knowing that Hartley was lying dead in the Med Bay.

“You can see Hartley before I get him ready for burial,” Caitlin offered to Barry in a whisper. As if she wasn’t sure how Barry would react if she spoke louder.

“I’ll do that,” Barry said. 

Barry sat down by Hartley’s bed. He couldn’t stand to see Hartley like this – his chest didn’t rise and fall with each breath and he was so still.

“I’m sorry, Hartley,” he said quietly. “I brought this on. I should have realized the heavy price I’d have to pay for my need to fix my past. To see my mom and dad alive and well once again. And now you’re dead because of that.”

He put his hand over Hartley’s, which was a little cold to the touch. Barry gripped the hand, and willed a memory he wished he had to somehow travel from Hartley into him.

It was a crazy, desperate hope especially considering Hartley was dead. There was no science for this sort of thing. Like he’d been told time and again. Barry had made his choice to time travel. Due to that, he had to accept that there were memories he would never have.

But then suddenly, he felt a small electric shock run through him.

The shock was brief, and after that, nothing happened. Barry wondered where it came from or if he was perhaps dreaming that startling sensation.

He heard someone walk into the room and he looked up to see it was Cisco.

“Hey,” Cisco said softly. 

He glanced over at Hartley’s lifeless body, uneasy as he set his eyes on him. He quickly looked away.

“Hi,” said Barry.

“It’s not right that Hartley’s dead. I always saw him as stubborn, and I thought he could beat the cancer.”

“But he was already giving up weeks ago,” Barry reminded him with a heavy sigh.

Cisco shrugged. “I guess I just didn’t believe him. I couldn’t accept that Hartley would just stop fighting. Crazy I guess considering most of the time, Hartley and I weren’t on the best of terms. And here I am believing he should have survived. I never thought I’d see Hartley lose like this.”

Barry nodded, agreeing with Cisco’s words. He had believed that Hartley would pull through. Maybe it had been a little selfish on his part. Since his actions had led to Hartley’s illness, he’d hoped that if Hartley survived then his own guilt would ease. 

Yet now, Hartley’s death only made his guilt stronger. 

Cisco sat down in an empty chair across from Barry. 

“I have to confess something,” he began. Barry looked at him, waiting to hear what Cisco had to say. “Seeing you and Caitlin at odds was hard. And I was thinking of the issues between the two of us. I think, maybe, I can forgive you. After losing Hartley, I thought that I’d really hate it if you died… and I would have never gotten the chance to say goodbye and tell you how much your friendship has meant to me. Just like you feel with missing the chance for one last moment with Hartley.”

“Thank you, Cisco. I’m not sure I deserve it, but thank you either way.” 

Barry smiled weakly at him.

~ * ~


	4. Chapter 4

Two nights later, Barry had the strangest dream. An old memory from a past version of him?

It was him visiting Hartley at his apartment. Although from what he could see, it wasn’t the time he had been drunk. He didn’t look intoxicated at least.

“Hey,” his past self said. He was carrying a duffel bag.

Hartley frowned. “You shouldn’t have come. You won’t be the same tomorrow due to seeking Thawne’s advice in the past. It’s hard enough without seeing you.”

“I get that, but will you let me in at least?”

“You should go. I mean it, Barry.”

“Listen, Hartley, I know things will change, but it’s not like I’ll be turning evil or anything. It will still be me, just with some different memories. Could we talk inside?”

Hartley sighed. He opened the door wider and allowed Barry in.

“I’m not sure what this will achieve,” said Hartley doubtfully.

“I wanted to say goodbye to you, Hartley,” he said as he walked into the apartment. Barry followed after his past self, anxious to see what would happen.

“I know you’ll be most affected. I won’t remember your time as an ally to the team, as my friend.”

“Because you’ll be skipping over all those months,” Hartley said with a resigned sigh. “It'll be difficult to have things change.”

“I’m sorry, Hartley,” he said. “I wish it wasn’t this way. I value you as a friend. I would've regretted not seeing you now to make sure you knew that.”

Hartley nodded. “I do.” 

“And there’s something else,” Barry said.

Before Hartley could ask, Barry used his superspeed and once he was done, he was standing before Hartley in his Flash suit. The duffel bag was open indicating that the suit had come from there.

Hartley stared at him, eyes widening. Barry took off his cowl and just smiled, maybe more of a smirk, at Hartley.

“Seriously?” Hartley remarked.

“You’ve said you liked the suit often enough… thought I’d bring it out now.”

“What--” Hartley said, but he was abruptly cut off when Barry approached him.

He placed his gloved hands on Hartley’s face and then he kissed him on the mouth.

Hartley appeared surprised, but he didn’t push Barry away. Instead, he reciprocated the kiss, and he whispered, “I’ll miss you.”

Then Barry woke up suddenly, the dream ending with Hartley’s soft whisper reverberating in his ears like a haunting echo. 

He wasn’t sure if he felt comforted by that dream or even worse by seeing it. The real question was if it was simply a dream or an actual memory of Hartley’s. One that Hartley hadn’t told anyone else about. Somehow that electric shock Barry had felt after touching Hartley’s hand must have given him this glimpse to Hartley’s version of the past.

Barry went into the bathroom to splash cold water over his face and he considered another perspective. While his traveling in time led to terrible consequences, if he hadn’t gone back to seek Eobard Thawne’s advice, then Hartley would’ve still been an enemy to the team. Who knows what would have happened to him. 

Barry would have liked to think that Hartley becoming an ally was good for him. It stopped him from descending fully into the darkness, with no hope for redemption. Though it cost Barry not having memories of being Hartley’s friend, at least he saved Hartley from a grim future.

That one small bright spot made Barry smile to himself, if only a little bit. Sure, the consequences of time travel were a much heavier burden, but it didn’t fully cancel out the potential for making things better, making people better.

He wasn’t sure how to take his past self kissing Hartley. But it spoke to how strong the friendship had been between his past self and Hartley that they had progressed to the next level. Barry would have liked to think he would have been capable of doing the same. That is, if his time with Hartley hadn’t been cut short.

~ * ~

Weeks later, the mood in the Cortex was still subdued following Hartley’s death and funeral. It wasn’t easy walking past the Med Bay knowing the reason why the bed was empty. That it wasn’t because Hartley had recovered, but that he had died in that bed. 

One afternoon, Barry headed back into the Cortex after his patrol.

Cisco stopped him, telling him that they had a visitor from another Earth.

And that’s when Barry saw him. The person resembled the Hartley he had known. Although he looked healthier and happier as he let out a smile or two as he listened to HR speak.

Caitlin shrugged at Barry when he looked at her questioningly. She was typing away at one of the computers on the console. 

Cisco took the initiative and he beckoned Barry over to Hartley – or someone who looked like him. Barry didn’t know if his name was Hartley too after all.

“Barry, this is Hartley Rathaway from Earth 8. Hartley, this is Barry Allen.”

“Hi.”

“Hi,” was all Barry could say. 

He was left speechless as he’d never expected to see Hartley alive again. Even if it was a version of him from another Earth, Barry still saw him as Hartley, as someone who was connected to the Hartley he’d known.

The other Hartley looked nervous. “I wish I came here with better news. But I have a warning.”

“What is it?” Barry asked.

“There’s a meta from my Earth. He hurt our Barry causing a domino effect that led to his death.”

Barry didn’t miss the haunted look on Hartley’s face as he talked about the Barry he’d known.

“Hartley believes this meta is now on our Earth,” said Caitlin from the console. “I’m trying to track him down.”

“You think he’ll come after me?” Barry asked him.

Hartley nodded. “I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t let all of you know," he said sincerely. He paused then, seeming to consider something. "I'm feeling hungry, actually. I should get some food.” 

He looked anxious, which Barry could understand as this Hartley didn’t really know them, and he was on a completely different Earth too. It could be a disorienting experience as Barry recalled his time on Earth 2.

“Wait, I’ll come with you,” Barry offered. “Show you the best restaurant, maybe give you a little tour.”

Hartley stared at him in surprise. “All right. That sounds good. Anyway, I’m not sure how different your Central City is from the one I’m familiar with.”

Barry grinned. “Great. Let’s go.”

“Have fun!” HR called after them.

Caitlin and Cisco exchanged looks with one another when Barry and Hartley were gone.

“Who’s going to tell Barry that this Hartley is a speedster?” Cisco asked her.

Caitlin gave Cisco a look that clearly said it wasn’t their business. Then she looked to HR. “Hey HR, what about a coffee run? I can come along. I need some fresh air. Maybe that and some coffee will help me in finding that meta from Earth 8.”

“He could have moved on to another Earth,” Cisco suggested.

She frowned at him. “Either way, we need to continue looking for him. Based on what Hartley said, this is a meta I don’t want hurting anyone on any Earth.”

Cisco agreed with her. After losing their Hartley not long ago, he didn’t want to suffer the loss of another friend and team member.

Especially Barry, who was the doppleganger of the Barry that meta targeted on the other Earth.

Cisco would do all he could to protect his friend.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ FIN ~ * ~ * ~ * ~


End file.
